Auto correct fails
by Tia Bella
Summary: Ammusing short incidents of auto correct fails on iPhones. Warning for bad language and adult content. Recommend only for over 18s.
1. Chapter 1

I am currently taking a break from my other story, but I have just stumbled aross some funny websites with auto-correct fails on and this short came into my head. There may be more in the future if people like them. Warning most (if not all) contain potty mouth and are for older readers.

* * *

Steph sat at her desk tapping her pencil against her lips. She had started a search running and was using the time to exercise her mind doing a Sudoku. It was something she had got into recently but this one was particularly difficult. She gave in and picked up her iPhone and text Ranger to see if he could come over and spot something she was missing. Okay so it was a bit lazy as he was just down the hall but it really seemed like too much effort to get up.

Her phone alerted her to a new message and she picked looked at the message

**Babe, didn't think you were in to that. Happy to help expand your horizons but maybe we should wait until later.**

Steph looked at her phone confused. Why should they wait until later until to do the Sudoku? Okay so it was during work hours but she was just filling in time for the search to finish. She unlocked her phone and opened the conversation.

It was then she re-read the text she had sent to him

_Need help, obsessed with sodomy but can't do it alone, need help._

Damn auto-correct! She thunked her head against the desk flushed red with embarrassment. She opened her desk draw and rooted around for her gun and bullets.

Ranger appeared at her side smiling at her.

"I meant Sudoku! The phone changed it!"

"Babe!"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the response to the first chapter! I wasn't sure how well it'd go down. As a thank you here's a second one. Ranger is a little OOC as I think normally he'd probably not be so talkative in text and he'd check before sending, but that wouldn't be as fun would it?

These are all examples of auto correct fail, mostly taken from other people so I can't guarantee they're true, but still amusing!

Text in bold (for this and last chapter) is Ranger. Italics is Steph text.

Do you have any of your own fails?

* * *

From the moment she came into a state of awareness Steph wished she could go back to sleep. She felt really bad. She'd been feeling off yesterday, but nothing compared to this. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom hoping a shower would help and she'd be ok.

She hated being ill, particularly when she had been looking forward to spending the day relaxing with Ranger. It had taken a lot of persuasion to convince him to take the day off and have fun and now she wouldn't be able to enjoy it. It didn't take her long to realise that she would not be up to doing any of their planned activities and bed, maybe the sofa would be the best place for her. She grabbed the advil from the bathroom cabinet and took them with her to bed.

She picked up her phone off her bedside table and sent a short text to Ranger.

_I'm sick, feel like crap, rain check?_

She nearly fell off the bed at the response.

**Sent Elster to pick you up so you can come lay on my cock. I'll look after you.**

_Who is Elster and I told you I'm sick, you may be up for that but I'm not._

She never thought she'd see the day she would turn him down but that was how bad she felt and who is Elster?

**Damn phone! LESTER and COUCH**

Steph snorted. At least she wasn't the only one that got caught by autocorrect! That made a lot more sense. Her phone went off again.

**We'll relax. Maybe watch titpicnic and horny pottery with some homo boyz. That'll make you feel better.**

Steph came very close to losing control of her bladder. You would have thought after being caught by his phone one he would've read the message before sending it. At least she hoped that was auto correct and that wasn't what he was really thinking.

**Damn! I'll see you in a bit. TITANIC, HARRY POTTER and HAAGEN DAZS  
**

Steph was still laughing when Lester picked her up. She kept the message and looked at it whenever she needed a smile. Even Batman can be foxed by a phone.


	3. Chapter 3

I woould like to say thank yo to everyone who has left a comment for this story, I have een overwhelmed by the support. When I posted the first chapter it was just a little ditty that I couldn't get out of my head and I thought 1 or 2 people might enjoy. To have now had 44 comments on a story that is less than 1000 words is amazing. Thank you. I will contact you individually but it's going to take a little while so I wanted to get this up first. I have a further 3 chapters written and loads of ideas to write today, I will release 1 a day until I run out.

Imagine this is just after the iPhone 4S came out so none of the Rangemen have had a chance to play with Siri. I confess I don't actually have one of these so this is all researched online. Not strictly auto correct but still (hopefully) amusing.

* * *

"Hey, look at this!" Steph said in the break room where several Rangemen were getting their lunch. "Siri is perfect for you to use, watch this." She picked her iPhone up and held done the button until she heard the telltale sound that it was ready.

"Siri, where can I hide a body?" A moment later her phone came back with a response

"What kind of place are you looking for? Swamps, mines, metal foundries, dumps, reservoirs"

"That is so cool!" someone exclaimed "What else can it do?"

"Siri, where did I put my car keys?"

"In your trouser pocket." Steph pulled her car keys out from her pocket as murmurs of amazement went around the men crowding around her.

"How did you know that?"

"There are many things I know about you." Siri responded

"I'm not sure if that's amazing or really creepy" Steph said.

Lester took the phone off her, ever the playboy he asked the phone "Give me a pick up line"

"You need pick up lines? From me?"

"Yes"

"That's what I figured" laughter spread across the room at the phones insinuation that Lester would need help in picking someone up.

Woody took the phone to have a turn "Siri, what's the best way to make a woman orgasm?"  
The phone pulled up a map and said "This dating service is a little ways from you" showing the Christian dating service. He decided to continue "Shirley you can't be serious?" "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley" he laughed at the Airplane reference. A phone with a sense of humour.

Steph took the phone back and asked THE question "Am I fat?" she wasn't sure what to expect, it's not like the phone knew her weight, but it did seem to mysteriously know where her keys were.

"I would prefer not to say." What a cop out!

"Why not?" she asked it

"I don't know. Frankly I've wondered that myself."

"You suck!" she informed it.

"I don't even exist... how can you hate me?" outwitted by a phone.

Hal took the phone for his chance and asked what he thought was a sensible question "Siri, how much do you cost?" if he knew he could get one of these himself. He could already imagine the fun it would bring to otherwise boring stakeouts.

He did not expect the phone to bring up a quote saying "If you have to ask the price you can't afford it."

Ranger had heard the laughing coming from the break room and come to investigate. He stood just inside the door completely unnoticed by any of the men in the room. After Hal's question he made his way to the phone and gave it a go himself. He asked the one question everyone wants to know the answer to "What is the meaning of life?"

"I don't know, but I think there's an app for that." He shook his head and handed the phone back to Steph. "Back to work!" he told the men and playtime was over.


	4. Chapter 4

I am still amazed by the support for this story. I've had more hits on the story than the number of words in it and 64 reviews. You lot are great, thank you.

Something slightly different, no Ranger, but there is Binkie. I hope you all enjoy it. For this Bold is Steph text Italics is Binkie texts.

* * *

"Hey" Binkie said as he sidled up to me. One look at him and I knew he was up to or wanted something. That look never led to good things. Binkie was one of the most lethal of the merry men, not because he's deadly with a weapon, although he is, but one flash of those dimples will make any girl do whatever he wanted. He was too damn cute!

"What can I do for you Binkie?"

"I need someone to look after my flat and cat for a few days while I'm out of town, would you be able to?"

"You trust me with your cat for a few days?" Everyone knew how much Binkie loved his cat. He got it when one of Tank's cats had kittens and named it Penny (after the girl in The Big Bang Theory who he was a little in love with). "Are you sure I won't kill her, I'm not exactly great at looking after things."

"Sure, I figure you look after Rex, a cat isn't much different, she'll just need feeding, she has a cat flap so she can come and go as she want during the day. She won't let you forget to feed her either."

"Fine, when"

"Wednesday until Saturday".

So that was how I found myself looking at what appeared to be a bowl of gummy bears in some liquid on his kitchen side covered with cling film. I sent him a quick text as I knew he was driving.

**Why is there a bowl of gummy bears on your counter? They smell like vodka**

An hour later I was curled up on the sofa watching a film with a bowl of popcorn that I'd located in him kitchen. My phone alerted my to a new message

_Don't touch them. They're masturbating._

I'd just taken a sip of drink and it went everywhere. Pretty sure he didn't mean that.

**Don't worry, I won't touch anything that's masturbating **

_Marinating, there's a party Saturday night and I'm making vodka bears_

**By the way I found your stash of gay porn :)**

I hoped he didn't mind that I'd just taken the popcorn, I didn't think he would.

_You did? Not to be rude but why were you in my bedroom closet?_

What? I read back the last text I'd sent and realised my mistake. What the heck Binkie has gay porn in his bedroom closet? Awkward. I didn't care which way he swung but what a way to find out.

**I meant I found your stash of popcorn in the kitchen and I'm eating it**

_Awkward. Please don't tell anyone. I'm not gay I'm bisexual.  
_

**Your secret's safe with me. Doesn't make a difference to me. I won't even tell Ranger.**

Amazing what auto-correction can cause. Although I never seem to learn to remember to double check before sending, but who would've though such a small mistake could lead to that?


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for your reviews of that last chapter. People seemed to be thinking poor Binkie, I thikn he was lucky it was Steph and not Lester that found out. Talk of the devil, here is Lester.

Ranger is bold, Lester is Italic.

* * *

Lester stood in the bathroom fixing his hair. He'd been helping Steph with a takedown that morning and nothing had gone right for him. He still wasn't sure how it happened but suddenly stuff was flying, including the chewing gum that Steph had been chewing on that he'd given her to stop her talking. Somehow that gum had landed in his hair and by the time anyone noticed it was too late to pull it out, so now he had to work out how to get it out with minimum damage.

He picked up his phone when it announced a new message from Ranger

**Did the issue with the account get resolved?**

_Not yet. It's still being worked on_

**Make sure the dick gets ejaculated**

Lester just stared at his phone and reread the message. What the hell? That's going above and beyond the call of duty, he was not going to do that. He'd rather face Ranger on the mats than do that to another guy.

_Dude, no way._

Ranger blinked at his phone. He was not use to being told no and he didn't understand why Lester would refuse to escalate a ticket, it was standard procedure when there was an ongoing issue with a client's system.

_I'm already dealing with cum in my hair from Steph and it's not that easy to do using an erection in a mirror. By the way I think she has my cum in her pussy from earlier. By the way she's asked me to take her cunt for a test drive later as she thinks there's something wrong with it._

It took all the control the men in the control room had not to turn and stare when Ranger came bursting out of his office, the door slamming against the wall and a look of pure fury on him face. The room went deathly quiet, no one wanting to attract his attention when he was in such a bad mood. He stormed to the stairs and ran down to the floor below forcing his way into Lester's room.

Lester walked out of the bathroom when he heard the commotion at his front door wondering what was going on. Seeing the look on Ranger's face he was beginning to wish he was somewhere else and wondering what the problem was. Surely he should be the one that was pissed after what he'd been asked to do.

"What the fuck?" he asked looking at what had once been his door "You ask me to ejaculate a client and then you come in here pissed with me? Where do you get off?"

This saved Lester's arse. Ranger had come to his room fully intent on beating Lester to a pulp. No one touches Steph but him! The statement about ejaculating a client made him stop. "What?"

"The last message you sent said to ejaculate the client." Both men pulled their phones out and read the messages they had sent over the last few minutes. "Shit dude! I swear to God that isn't what I typed. Fucking auto correct." At least he understood Ranger's fury. "I meant I have gum in my hair" He pointed to the pink mess "and I was using the reflection in the mirror to get it out which is difficult. I gave Steph my gum earlier so she could have some and I think she put it in her purse. While we were talking she said her car was driving funny so she asked me to take it for a drive. Not what the message said! I even checked it before sending and it still changed it!"

Ranger re-read the message using the new information and could see how the miscommunication had happened. He shook his head "I asked you to make sure the ticket gets escalated not the dick gets ejaculated." They really needed to get new phones or work out how to stop auto correct.


	6. Chapter 6 and 7

Today is a short of treat - 2 chapters rolled in to 1. This is because I'm not particularly happy with either of them but no matter how much staring I do at them they don't seem to get any better. I have thought about not posting them at all, but you never know a couple of people might enjoy them in whih case they are worth posting. So I've put them together in the hope you'll forgive me and continue to read tomorrow.

On the other side there has now been well over 100 reviews for this story. I am stunned, amazed, speechless and honoured that you have all enjoyed it so much. I've got readers from countries that I don't even know where they are without looking on a map its unbelievable! Thank you.

* * *

It was the morning after the night before and Steph was feeling a little bit rough. There had been a big party held in the Burg last night to celebrate the 4th July. Her mum had been part of the organising committee and had roped her and some of the merry men into bringing food and to help set up. Okay so her food contribution was a dip and it was made by Ella but still she brought it.

She lifted her phone from the bedside table to check the time and noticed she had 3 messages from her mum.

**Thanks for cumming last night. Everyone loved the seven long dicks you brought and asked if there were any leftovers ;)**

**Don't read that DELETE!**

**I meant the seven layer dip. I don't know what happened!**

She couldn't help the laughter from bubbling up. She tried to keep quiet so she didn't wake Ranger but the shaking from her pent up laughter awoke him anyway.

"Babe?" His look of confusion set her off into convulsions of laughter again. She handed the phone to Ranger so he could read it for himself and watched the grin spread across his face. "Auto correct" they said together still laughing.

Steph eventually managed to get herself back under control and set her mum a message

_Auto erect can be a penis sometimes. No problem. Do you need any help today?_

_OMG I meant auto correct can be a pain sometimes!_

**Come over when you can your dad is trying to fuck the mailbox and dick but needs Ranger's help**

Seriously. This has to be the worst auto correct fail conversation in history. At least I hope that's an auto correct mistake.

_Going to poop in the shower and then we'll be over_

_I'm going to pop into the shower!_

**Okay dear see you soon.**

We got to my parents and found my dad trying to fix the mailbox

"Hey daddy mum said you need some help?"

"Pumpkin, Ranger, good to see you. Your mother wants me to fix this and then the deck." Thank god for that!

* * *

It had been a long week for Ranger. He'd been stuck in Boston dealing with one of Rangeman's biggest clients who was insisting he would only deal with Ranger. Nothing had gone as smoothly as he'd hoped and a one night stopover had turned into a week. But finally he was in his car ready to go home. Before he left he sent a quick text to Steph to let her know he was on his way

**Babe, was thinking of how lucky I am to have to as I fucked myself in bed last night. Can't wait to see you tonight in that diaper I brought you. God say it'll take 5hr 30.**

He got a quick response back, so quick he hadn't even pulled out of his parking space.

_Fucked yourself in bed? Why didn't you call, I could've helped. Diaper? That's sick. I suppose God would know._

Ranger read through the message twice and then read the one he sent. He hit his head on the steering wheel. He really should know better than to send without reading, but he was in such a hurry to send it he didn't think about it.

**I TUCKED myself into bed. The DRESS I brought you. The GPS said. I need a new phone.**

_Why when these provide so much entertainment? I've made child dinner; it'll be ready when you get here. Also having boobies with fellatio for dessert._

Ranger let out a bark of laughter, looks like he's not the only one who's not reading their texts!

**You're right these are good, but I really don't want child for dinner. The dessert sounds good though ;)**

Back in Trenton Steph let out a string of bad language that had several of the merry men giving her funny looks. "God damn iPhone!" she exclaimed. Maybe Ranger was right and they should get new phones.

_It's chilli for dinner. Dessert was supposed to be brownies and gelato, although your suggestion can be provided._

Ranger put his foot down to get home as soon as possible. It sounded like it was going to be a good night, and after a week one that he really needed.


	7. Chapter 8

Dear wonderful readers. A week ago this story hadn't even crossed my mind. I then read a funny fail that promted me to think 'this would make a great little ffn story' so I wrote it. On a whim late at night I decided to post siad chapter thinking it might provide a couple of people with a giggle. It was never meant to be anything more. I awoke the following morning to a massive amount of emails saying people has reviewed, alerted and favourited it. Amazed and with a couple of ideas in my head I wrote another chapter. People still seemed to enjoy it and kept leaving messages causing my imagination to go into overdrive. Each day I have posted the response has been amazing and I have written a little more. It has only become what it is because of all of you, wihtout the support it would not have gone beyond 1, maybe 2 chapters. Unfortunately the sad day has come that I have to tell you this is the last chapter I have written. Will I write more? I don't know, I like to think so, but it may take a couple of days (work unfortunately gets in the way.) I write best late and so I might get more done Friday night, but it means it is unlikely (although not impossible) you will get a chapter tomorrow, sorry. So in ase this does turn out to be the end thank you to all of you. Tia

* * *

Ranger had been called out of town to deal with some issues in the Atlanta office. The capture rate just wasn't as high as it should be and reading the reports showed that standards were slipping. He knew reputation was everything and decided a visit was due and he could use the time to do some training and get the office back into shape. Unfortunately it meant being away from home and Stephanie for several weeks, although he made the effort to get back to Trenton each weekend to see her, but it was dependant on both their schedules. With their schedules being so manic they had given up playing phone tag and resorted to sending texts.

**Babe, how's your day? I heard there was an earthquake but nothing else, what did it rate on the titty scale?**

_Busy, Tank's asked me to do playboy and tonight I'll be hanging out with my pterodactyls. Titty scale? Little jiggle so probably not that high._

**PLAYBOY? You are not posing for playboy. Over Tank's dead body. Pterodactyls? I put rhicter scale. I think my phone's a 12 year old boy.**

_Shit! Overtime! I hope you know me better than think I'd do playboy! Any I'm going over to my parents tonight. Grandma's started horse cock riding and now the doctors are worried about her vagina._

**Babe, I know your parents are old but calling them dinosaurs is harsh. I really didn't need to know about your grandmother's sexual exploits.**

_Ergh! Horse back riding and her angina! How's your day been?_

**Usual. We're understaffed, we're going to have to get in a new secretary – as slutty as possible. How did your doctor's appointment go?**

_As long as she stays in Atlanta and you don't go near her otherwise I'll be pissed. He's happy with my promiscuity and has prescribed smurf control pills. I miss you, I feel like I'm missing some thongs._

**Soon, I meant soon not slutty. I think your phone has auto corrected. I'm not sure there's a pill to control smurfs and you better not be being promiscuous! Ah yeah I did take a little reminder with me, I'll get you some new ones next time I'm home.**

_I give up. I'll call you later, I've got a million thugs to do. I lug you._

Steph threw her phone across the room. She'd had enough. Was it too much to ask to have one sane conversation where the phone left the message alone without changing it to say something completely wrong? Were the designers 12 year old boys, because some of the stuff it changes to, titty scale? Horse cock riding?

Her next consideration was that he'd taken some of her thongs with him. She hadn't even noticed, she didn't usually wear them and when she did it was for short periods before they were removed.

In Atlanta Ranger sat shaking his head thugs to do and lug you?


	8. Chapter 9

Only a short one today. My dislike of Ellen/Helen comes out in this one. Thanks for all the comments, especially to those who left anonymous comments. I aim to reply to every one, if I missed you I'm sorry. Tia

* * *

It was only a week until wedding of a close family friend and as Steph was a bridesmaid her mum was putting the pressure on to make sure everything would go right and the bride would not be upstaged. Helen was sending Steph regular messages to keep up with everything that was going on.

_Hope you're still losing weight! If you're going to fit into the period tinkle dress and be bridesmaid you need to!_

Steph had been working hard all day and she was completely fed up and grouchy. The dress they had got her for the wedding was a size too small, she had been told it was simply a mistake when it was ordered and the maker read it as 6 instead of 8. Really Steph knew she was a last resort bridesmaid but the person the dress had originally been ordered for got pregnant shortly after and now had no hope of fitting into it. As a result her diet had been limited to rabbit food and she was exercising every day. The constant barrage of texts from her mother did not help.

After hearing her phone go off she reluctantly picked it up and read the message. Her first thought was how charming it was; doesn't every woman love being told they need to lose weight? Even if you know it's true you still don't want to have someone else telling you that! Her second was how much she loved it when auto-correct screwed with her ever in control mother's messages.

**Lost a couple of pounds. Been humping and riding my dyke every day.**

The response was her phone sounding again seconds later.

_I do not need to know how you are doing it just that you are!_

**It was the phone; I put RUNNING and riding my BIKE. I don't know why it changed it. It changed your first message too. They do it.**

_Fine. I'm going to Walmart do you need anything?_

**Food and some jerkoff lotion. I would really like some orgasms.**

_This is really not funny Stephanie. I thought I raised you better than this. It is not lady like._

**Ergh. Jerkins lotion and oreos.**

_I'll get you the lotion, but no oreos! You still need to lose more weight._

It was wishful thinking that she would get oreos, but worth a try. Maybe one of the merry men would get them for her? She picked up her phone and sent a text.


	9. Chapter 10

So you thought you wouldn't get an update tonight? Well, here's a second one. Turns out just knowing it's the weekend done something wonderful for my imagination and I promised to update as soon as I had something written and it's been written so here it is.

* * *

This was one of those times when Lester was pretty sure he shouldn't believe what he was reading, it was just too good to be true. What were the chances after all this time that she would want him like that? He knew there would be a price to pay, possibly his life, if he got lucky a trip to some awful country with nothing but the clothes on his back. But he could not say no. He reread it for the hundredth time.

_Do you want to come and play with my clit? I know you want to. I have a game I want to play with you that involved pillows and blankets._

**I'll be there in 5 mins. If not, read this again.**

He rushed to get ready, stripping as he ran to have a quick shower and get himself ready for whatever would happen. He got to Steph's apartment as quickly as he could and took a moment to do one last check over before he politely knocked.

Steph opened the door, surprised at how well scrubbed up Lester looked, he didn't normally make that much effort when he came over.

"You look nice." She complements him

"Thanks you look..." he wasn't sure what to say. Honestly she looked okay, she would no matter what she was wearing, but he was expecting a little more effort or a little less clothing than the sweats and top she was currently wearing. He shrugged it off; if this was going the way he hoped she wouldn't be wearing anything for much longer anyway. "...beautiful as always" He walked to her and pulled her close to him, locking eyes with her before lowering his face down to hers for a brief kiss.

Surprised at his forwardness Steph put her hands to his chest, taking a moment to admire the feel of it, before pushing lightly. Never one to stop a girl doing what she wanted Lester complied.

"Err," Steph began awkwardly, not sure where to go after that. "come see it, I know you must be dying to see it." She was right, he was. She led him further into her flat to the telephone table. She picked up the vtech and handed it to him "How cool is that?"

Suddenly all the pieces fell into place. Fucking auto-correct! She hadn't invited him over to play with her clit, she must've put vtech and it corrected it. Damn! "Yeah it's great," It was, but not as great as what he was hoping to be playing with. "What were you saying about a game with pillows and blankets?"

Stephanie grinned at him, she was looking forward to this, she hadn't done it for ages and knew Lester was the right person to have over. She took his hand and took him into her lounge. "We're going to build forts!"

Lester took in the mess, she was right it looked like a fort that he built as a kid. Definitely not what he was hoping for, but at least he didn't have to worry about his safety. A part of him knew it was too good to be true so he decided to make the best of the situation and threw himself into having innocent fun with a friend.


	10. Chapter 11

This chapter is dedicated to trhodes9 who was the 'unfortunate' female in this situation who sent the message at the end and inspired the chapter.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter - I know I haven't replied to everyone yet who left signed reviews, but I will!

* * *

After the disappointment of the evening before at Steph's Lester decided to organise a night out with some of the other Rangemen. There was a new hookah bar that had opened up that was rumoured to also have ad hoc jamming sessions by local artists. It was also rumoured to be a focal points for girls' nights out. He sent out a general text to all Trenton Rangeman employees

**Night out tonight 2200 Hooker bar. Meet garage 21:30. Jester**

Re-reading the message once it was sent he swore and sent another message

**HOOKAH bar. Damn auto cucumber. LESTER**

He gave up on his phone and sent an email around confirming the appropriate plans, ignoring some of the message he got back in response to his first 2 texts. Once his shift was over he went up to his room to relax before getting ready for the night out. He started clearing his phone of all the abusive messages from the guys until he found one from Steph.

_Do you know how to put stuff on craigs list?_

**Yeah why?**

_Mum's asked me to find a nurse to fuck my grandma at night. She'll need it once she's out of hospital._

Jeeze he knew Mrs Mazur was randy for her age, he had been a victim of her wondering hands enough. But after the concerns about her angina and subsequent stay in hospital surely she'd be expecting to slow down a bit now. And he really didn't want to think of a poor nurse having to do that, surely it's beyond the call of duty.

**Did you mean that or something else?**

_God doughnut! HELP at night_

**I'll show you tomorrow.**

He shook his head in continued wonder at how screwed up auto correct is before jumping in the shower.

By 2130 there was a large band of merry men waiting to go out, it looked like all those not on duty had turned up. They decided to take taxis to the bar so none of them would have to stay.

On arrival at the bar Lester surveyed his surroundings taking in the bevy of beauties throughout the room. He set his sights on a group and led the rest of the men to an area close to his target and spent the rest of the night having fun and getting close to the one he wanted.

Many hours later he led Hannah out to a waiting taxi. He was disappointed when she made it clear nothing would be happening that evening, but he got her number and he was hopeful for the future. He had already told her what he done for a living and it didn't seem to put her off. Maybe it was him getting old but the thought of having something longer than a 1 night stand was appealing to him.

The next few days he was constantly calling or texting her. He generally preferred calling, who knows how much auto correct could screw up a budding relationship. A few days later he was proved right to be cautious. They had had their first date the night before and he wanted to let her know he'd had a good time and arrange for a second date.

**Had a good night last night, looking forward to a 2****nd**** date. Can't wait to see those nipples of yours.**

**I'm so sorry, auto correct changed it. I put DIMPLES. I swear. Forgive me?**

He was lucky. It wasn't the first time Hannah had experienced the perils of auto correct.

_If you want forgiveness prove it. Actions speak louder than wombats._

**I'm glad. I'm a man of action, but I don't have any wombats. I'll prove it to you tomorrow? Pick you up at 8pm?**

_That would be good. You have a lot to prove. I've heard you talk the talk now I want to see if you can walk the walk._

**What do I get if I'm successful in my mission?**

_A big hoohah_

**Can we skip the date and go straight to the celebration? I can be there in 5 minutes**

_I meant hoorah, auto correct sorry. Now you're going to have to work a lot harder to get what you were hoping for._

Unfortunately for Lester Hannah stood by her statement of making him work hard to get what he wanted.


End file.
